Smashed cucumbers, bruised on purpose

Name: Smashed cucumbers, bruised on purpose
Total time: 15 min
Yield: 2 servings
Ingredients: 1 English cucumber; 1 tsp kosher salt; 2 cloves garlic, finely grated; 1 tbsp rice vinegar; 1 tbsp soy sauce; 2 tsp toasted sesame oil; 1 tbsp chili crisp; 1 tsp sugar; ¼ tsp MSG (optional, though I never skip it); toasted sesame seeds and cilantro, to finish

The salad you'll make unprompted. Bring a heavy knife.

At a Glance

Time

15 min

Adjust servings

Story

This is pai huang gua, the smashed cucumber of northern China, and the smashing is the whole point, not a party trick. A cucumber whacked apart tears along its natural seams into craggy, porous rubble, and every one of those rough faces grabs dressing that would just slide off a clean knife cut. The salting that follows is the second half of the same idea, it draws out the cucumber's water so the dressing you add later stays a dressing and not a puddle.

Ingredients

1 English cucumber
1 tsp kosher salt
2 cloves garlicfinely grated
1 tbsp rice vinegar
1 tbsp soy sauce
2 tsp toasted sesame oil
1 tbsp chili crisp
1 tsp sugar
¼ tsp MSGoptional, though I never skip it
toasted sesame seeds and cilantroto finish

Method

You resist salads on principle. You'll make this one twice a week. Cold, garlicky, savage with chili crisp. A benchmark.

Lay the cucumber on a board and whack it with the flat of a heavy knife or a rolling pin until it splits along its length, then tear it into rough bite-size pieces. Ragged is correct. Neat is a waste of a good cucumber.
Toss the pieces with the salt in a colander and leave them to drain 15 minutes. Then press gently and blot properly dry, this is where a watery salad is won or lost.
Whisk the garlic, rice vinegar, soy, sesame oil, chili crisp, sugar and MSG into a quick dressing. Taste, it should be sharp, salty and a little sweet all at once.
Dress the cucumbers only just before serving, since the salt keeps pulling water the longer they sit in it. Pile them up, shower with sesame seeds and cilantro.

You can smash and salt the cucumbers a few hours ahead and keep them blotted and chilled, but hold the dressing until the last minute.

On the pass